It has been 20 plus years since I became a believer and I still struggle with my faith,Having Asperger’s does not make it any easier in fact it makes it harder to believe.I tend to take things too literal sometimes and struggle with the abstract. It is difficult to get past my own preconceived ideas about how God should work in my life.In Hebrews chapter 11 verse 1 it says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for ,the evidence of things not seen” Now I know that is hard for some including me to understand.I equate the latter part of the verse to the wind you can not see it, but you can see the effects of it ,the blowing leaves, the swaying branches and trees etc… The same goes for the works of God .I have seen and experienced things in my own life that can only be described as miracles.Like the time I was little and burned my eyeball on a hot light bulb and mom and dad took me to the salvation army people and they prayed for me and I was healed and I have not had any trouble from that eye since.Or the services I have been in and seen people confined to wheelchairs get up and walk and there are many more instances I have seen happen,but yet I still struggle with it all.My mind tells me it was coincidence, but my heart and soul tells me it was God.It is hard for me to reconcile my mind and my soul .The rational mind versus the faithful heart is the hardest to reconcile especially when it is a battle that takes place inside your soul.
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