Twists and turns of this roller coaster of a week.

             To say this week was surprising is an understatement. It started out ok. School was good finished my homework in class on Monday. Went to work on Tuesday it was an  o k  day. School Tuesday night was good I found out I have the highest grade in my computer class, a  98.8% .Yay Me. Wednesday was a very bad day it was raining to begin with ,I can't stand working in the rain, I was running behind a little and not really feeling like working anyway. It was alright day until I took this one delivery and was returning to my truck when I slipped off one of the steps leading to the sidewalk and could not regain my balance. I went flailing trying stop myself and hit the sidewalk with my knee while the rest of me landed in the grass and mud. My work pants have a hole in them now and the skin on my knee looks like hamburger, but it actually looks worse than it feels. Thursday was a very good day. My first run of the day I got a $35 tip and I worked for ten hours and made a hundred dollars WOO HOO!! Friday was a manic day in so much as it was a mixture of both good and bad .I got a $25 tip and I got wrote up . It has not been a very consistent  week for me.

     The new  manager came in this week in order to set up the store the so she can work more efficiently and to see who is going to be helping her get acclimated . I did not say much to her at first ,but she is a very hard worker and she is firm but fair type of boss. I explained to her my side of the story about my write up. She listened and said she would take care of it and we are starting out on a clean slate. I am going to keep my nose clean and do my job just like I always do and let the chips fall where they may. I have given my blood ,sweat, and tears and lost sleep over this job. I am not going to let an attitude ,mine or anybody else's, ruin what I have worked so hard  to overcome in myself. I had to reevaluate my work ethic and change my concept of why I work.  It is not to make a paycheck it is to provide for my family.



                         Just thought I'd share my week with you guys. Thanks for reading .

                                                Don Parnell

                                                                    

     I am back.....

     It has been almost 2 years since I have posted an entry on this blog. I  realized that some things are just to much for me to do and this is just one of those things.So I  will restart and only do this weekly and see how it goes.
  
         I have been  going to Itt-tech  and I have finally found a school that works for me with all my issues . I am making friends, I am also finally understanding algebra and other mathematical concepts I have never understood before. It is funny how at 41 I am just now being able to just get out of my way when it comes to social interaction and allow things to happen naturally instead of trying to force anything.

    Lauren is doing really well and is talking so well ,sometimes she just wont be quiet. But I guess she is making up for lost time. she was non-verbal up until she was 6 .

   Amy is also well. She is studying  to get her G E D and go to college .I am proud of her for doing this.
  
   I am  doing well at work. My bosses like  and trust me and I am up for a raise soon so I have that to look forward too .

     I hope you all are well and if you are new to this blog welcome and thank you for reading the musings of a typical man, father, husband with Asperger's .





    Thank you    Don Parnell

Catching up

 

It has been awhile since my last post ,sorry about that. The last couple of weeks have been hectic  taking care of some last minute details before going back to school and going to my nephew’s graduation and spending time with the family along with my mother coming to visit us in Dayton this past week.I realized how much fun family and friends can be along with a trip to the Columbus  zoo made this past week very good.I am exhausted with all the running around and just doing more than normal.

Lauren is learning new words and phrases over the past week or so .I found out that a lot more people read this thing than I originally  thought would.So I will try to post more often .I am going to pick up  my books for school on Monday . I excited and a little apprehensive about going back to school with me being forty and all but it is a lot than going back in my fifties.So this is short and sweet ,next time I hope it will be longer and more exciting.

                                                                                                                                      Thank you,

                                                                                                                                                    Don Parnell

To do or not to do

 

             It has been awhile since I have written a blog  and it seems I can not get away from it.I have been in a depressive funk lately and have not wanted to do anything.I am coming out of it and hopefully I will be writing more frequently.

       It is now time to quit living in the past and move on ,to stop allowing my past failures and shortcomings to define who I am and how I live my life.If I do not start to live in the present and plan for the future I will be dragged down by the past.I know it is easier said than done but nothing worthwhile is easy.I have a wife who loves me,a daughter who adores me,I am intelligent,kind,and able to do anything I set my mind and heart to do.I have so much to live for,I can no longer live the way I have been living.Fear is not an option.Can’t is hereby stricken from my vocabulary.I will write that book, I will get that degree,I will do,I will…….

 

                                                                                                                            Thank you,

                                                                                                                                                 Don Parnell

Clinical Depression and being Depressed

Being depressed and suffering from clinical depression are not the same .Feeling blue and sad is just a part of life sometimes, But Suffering depression is the worst .Not wanting to get out of bed ,take care of yourself or eat or  taking it out on those around you or all of the above.Every pain in your body is amplified , and be overtaken by sadness at the drop of a hat.The difference between being depressed and clinical depression is difference between having a hangnail and  having your toenail ripped off with a pair of pliers.One is a nuisance,the other is excruciatingly painful and it takes more than a couple of days and a pair of toenail clippers to get over.It takes medical attention and follow up care to make sure that it is healing right .Most people who has Asperger’s  are more apt to suffer a host of mental illnesses including depression.I suffer from it and I am finding it hard to get out of bed most days.I believe it is a combination of the anniversary  of my dad’s death,not having a job,and turning forty on the 30th of this month.There have been two other  debilitating  bouts of depression in the last three and a half years both lasting more than four months a piece.I know I can not let this happen again and I will fight to stop it no matter what.This is a quick post to let you know where I am at and to ask for your support and prayers through my journey. Thank you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              God bless,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Don Parnell

Seeing the wind (my struggle with faith)

    It has been 20  plus years since I became a believer and I still struggle with my faith,Having Asperger’s  does not make it any easier in fact it makes it harder to believe.I tend to take things too literal sometimes and struggle with the abstract. It is difficult to get past my own preconceived  ideas about how God should work in my life.In Hebrews chapter 11 verse 1 it says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for ,the evidence of things not seen” Now I know that is hard for some including me to understand.I equate the latter part of the verse to the wind you can not see it, but you can see the effects of it ,the blowing leaves, the swaying branches and trees etc… The same goes for the works of God .I have seen and experienced things in my own life that can only be described as  miracles.Like the time I was little and  burned my eyeball on a hot light bulb and mom and dad took me to the salvation army people and they prayed for me and I was healed and I have not had any trouble from that eye since.Or the services I have been in and seen people confined to wheelchairs  get up and walk and there are many more instances I have seen happen,but yet I still struggle with it all.My mind tells me it was coincidence, but my heart and soul tells me it was God.It is hard for me to reconcile my mind and my soul .The rational mind versus the  faithful heart is the hardest to reconcile especially when it is a battle that takes place inside your soul.   

Celebrate his life or mourn his death?

     That is question on the anniversary of my father death.17 years ago today He passed into eternity .I want to take this time to remember everything he stood for and everything he taught me.Family,hard work,financial stewardship.He taught me that family comes first that no matter how hard you work to always leave time for family even if it is just time to say have a nice day before he was off to his.He taught the joys and rewards of hard work and sacrifice.He was sick all his life and wasn’t supposed to live past his teens, but with shear determination and will he proved the doctors wrong, then in  1979 they found a brain tumor the size of a baseball sitting on the front part of the brain they removed it  less than a year later he was back to working on cars,and driving tractor trailers again.In 1984 his kidneys failed and he went on dialysis,1989 my mom donated to my dad one of her kidneys.In  1993 they did surgery on him to relieve the pressure around his heart.He was clinically dead for a few minutes before they revived him.He said that Jesus showed him Heaven and told him it wasn’t his time yet.1994 they found spots on his lungs and by the time they went in to remove it it was too late,the cancer had already spread to his lymphatic system he died in his sleep  at home with family around him ,but through it all he did whatever it took to make sure the bills were paid and there was food on the table even if he went hungry.He did the best he could with the hand he was dealt .I love him and miss him,But I choose this day to mourn no more and to celebrate this man’s life and the lessons he taught me and the life he lived in front of me for almost 23 years.Thank you Dad!